Love Relationships
By Cordelia Wright, M.Ed./Ed.S.
The most meaningful relationships allow each person a separate identity, but as Kahlil Gibran wrote in 1923 in his book, The Prophet, "let there be spaces in your togetherness, AND let the winds of the heavens dance between you."
The best relationships can be characterized by the following:
- Flexible - so that no one feels dependent on the other to feel complete
- Open communication - so that one can ask for what they want
- Unconditional acceptance
- Realistic desires. No expectations about the other making you happy, fulfilled, or excited
- Alive and Fun because the people in the relationship work at it keeping it that way
- Romantic and Close because the people in the relationshp constantly find ways to make it so
- Fight Fair. Even when they disagree, they find ways to express themselves without attacking each other verbally or physically; they negotiate changes desired.
- Anger is expressed directly without being sarcastic, violent, or destructive.
- Commit to the relationship even when things get rough.
- Respect, Caring, & Empathy. They care enough to listen to each other, and emphathize with the pains and hurts.
- No ownership. People are not possessions. Slavery was outlawed in 1865, so avoid the ownership attitude.
- Do thoughtful things for each other, but don't expect them. Expectations will get you nothing but boredom and disappointment.
This is all quite a laundry list of things to do to have a meaningful love relationship, but isn't it worth it! If you feel that you are off on the wrong road to a meaningful, lasting relationship, SMCC counselors can help. Sometimes it helps to have an objective ear to help you sort things out.
What to do if you need help:
Make an appointment to see an SMCC counselor to confidentially discuss your problems or concerns. Couple counseling is also available if you so desire.
Enroll in a Counseling and Personal Development (CPD) course. CPD102AF - Human Sexuality and CPD103BH - Male-Female Relationships are specifically designed to help you improve your love relationships. See the class schedule for dates and times of fall and spring course offerings.
Other Resources