Sex in the New Millennium
By Cordelia Wright, M.Ed./Ed.S.
Has sexual behavior changed in the new millennium, or are we just talking more openly about it? TV Talk Shows are certainly pulling the covers off some very bizarre behaviors in the world, and TV ads for Viagra have allowed some touchy male subjects to come out of the closet. Ten years ago, the general population did not use terms like fetish and transvestite. Now they can be heard on network TV and gossip around the office water cooler.
For most of us, sex in the new millennium may simply imply how to have a better relationship with my partner. How do I keep my relationship alive and exciting?
Why do I have difficulty having a long-term or meaningful relationship? As the old saying goes, "it takes two to tango." You can't have a relationship by yourself, but you can examine what patterns of behavior you follow, and communicate openly with your partner. Sometimes we carry the same old baggage from one relationship to another without stopping to examine what happened. Even failed relationships have lessons for us in what not to do the next time, what we like and don't like.
The people we choose to partner with should not define who we are. Women have come into their own as professionals and independent thinkers. If we so choose, men and women can just be themselves. When we choose to march to the beat of someone else's drum, and let our partners define who we are, we risk losing self-identity, independence, and self-worth. We then become vulnerable, self-conscious, possessive, and jealous. We may even do unthinkable acts just to impress or hold on to the unhealthy relationship.
WHAT TO DO
Enroll in a Counseling & Personal Development (CPD) course. SMCC offers CPD102AF - Human Sexuality. This course will help you examine healthy/unhealthy intimate love relationships, sexual biology, your patterns of behavior, and identify current sexual health issues and birth control methods.
Be daring and adventurous with ideas in spicing up your relationship, but avoid risky sexual and physical behaviors.
See a mental health professional for family or couples counseling if you need it. SMCC Counselors can provide you with names of psychologists and counselors in the community who can help. Call the Counseling Department @ (602) 305-5608.
For help with sexual dysfunctions, see your physician or a mental health professional. SMCC Counselors have referral sources in the community that can help you.
Other Resources